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Abusive Relationship Counseling by Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says Emotionally Focused Therapy or EFT takes a non-directive way, aiming to help the persons in gaining a better understanding of themselves, by speaking openly and honestly in a session. During EFT one will be guided through three major phases, consisting of the following nine steps:


De-escalation Phase:

  • Identify the couples’ important issues
  • Identify how those issues are expressed in negative patterns of interaction.
  • Finding out the fears and negative emotions beneath the negative interaction patterns.
  • Reframe the concern as unmet attachment and emotional requirement.

  • Changing Interaction Patterns Phase

  • Identify each partner’s disowned attachment style and emotional requirements.
  • Teach couples to express acceptance and compassion for their respective partner’s attachment and emotional needs.
  • Teach couples to express their attachment and emotional requirements to restructure patterns of interaction and enhance bonding.

  • Consolidation and Integration Phase

  • Teach couples new methods to communicate regarding old issues, and form new solutions to them.
  • Teach couples how to use the skills gained in the therapy but also outside of the therapy room.