The moment the term “divorce” is mentioned, it often evokes feelings of pain and heartbreak. However, there exists a unique type of divorce that some couples opt for not because of discord, but for the manifold benefits it brings to their relationship: sleep divorce.
Essentially, sleep divorce occurs when a couple chooses to sleep either in separate beds or in separate rooms. Despite the societal stigma surrounding sleeping in separate beds, a sleep divorce could significantly benefit your relationship. While bedtime rituals like cuddling or talking before sleep offer opportunities for emotional bonding, studies have revealed that if even one partner experiences a poor night’s sleep, it can lead to increased conflicts.
How is sleep divorce good for your relationship?
Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of India’s top marriage counsellors, explains Sleep Divorce’s benefits for a healthy relationship.
Personal space and freedom – Sleep divorce offers couples the chance to embrace personal space and freedom without straining their relationship. It allows partners to customize their environment and schedule according to their needs. Alone time becomes crucial for individual growth and rediscovery of interests.
By sharing a bed every night, some may feel suffocated, but sleep divorce brings balance, preventing feelings of being overwhelmed or trapped. It strengthens the bond by preserving individual identity while fostering a deep connection. In essence, it highlights that being in a relationship doesn’t mean losing oneself but rather encourages personal growth alongside commitment.
Good for health – Sleep divorce offers couples who aren’t sleep-compatible the chance to achieve peaceful slumber, vital for their well-being. It addresses disruptions like loud snoring, which deprives one partner of sleep. Differing sleep schedules, with one as a night owl and the other an early riser, disturb mutual sleep patterns.
Restlessness, whether from tossing and turning or restless leg syndrome, further diminishes sleep quality. Additionally, partners with sleep apnea snore loudly and have irregular breathing, causing concern and further disruption. By allowing partners to sleep separately, sleep divorce facilitates uninterrupted, restful sleep, promoting deeper sleep cycles, and ensuring both wake up refreshed and rejuvenated.
Good for mental health – Studies reveal that sleep deprivation is associated with difficulties in decision-making, problem-solving, emotional regulation, and coping with change, as well as heightened risks of depression, suicide, and risky behavior. Peaceful sleep is essential for better mental health, reduced stress, and improved mood. Sleep divorce ensures that both partners get adequate, uninterrupted sleep, not only improving their health but also strengthening their relationship.
Better conflict management – You fight less when you embrace sleep divorce. No more enduring podcasts you despise or squabbles over eating habits in bed. Gone are the days of snapping at your partner due to disrupted sleep. By prioritizing each other’s sleep needs, resentment diminishes, fostering a more loving and respectful relationship.
Increases proximity among partners – You tend to come closer as partners through sleep divorce, contrary to the belief that sleeping apart diminishes intimacy. Many couples discover that it actually bolsters their romantic connection by prioritizing individual well-being and improving sleep quality. This leads to increased energy and emotional availability, fostering intimacy in other aspects of the relationship.
Not sharing a room regularly introduces novelty and prevents routine or resentments from forming. Having personal space to unwind encourages both partners to make a conscious effort to spend quality time together, enhancing opportunities for intimacy and excitement.
The concept of “sleep divorce” isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution but rather a tailored approach to nurturing individual and relational well-being. By embracing personal space, promoting better health, nurturing mental well-being, and enhancing intimacy, it offers a pathway to deeper connection and mutual respect in a modern relationship landscape.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.
